There are two types of people who buy astronomy shirts. The first type wants something that says “space” in a general way. The second type wants something that makes another amateur astronomer stop, read it twice, and say “where did you get that.” This list is for the second type.
The F-Ratio Shirt
Best for: Astrophotographers, telescope nerds, anyone who has used the word “focal plane” in a non-ironic sentence.
The f-ratio is a telescope spec that serious amateurs care about deeply and civilians find incomprehensible. “What the F-Ratio?” plays on all of this — it is a legitimate question and also an expression of exasperation. It works perfectly for either reading, and best on someone who knows both.
Wear this one at a star party and see who gets it.
The F’n Weather Shirt
Best for: Anyone who has carefully planned an astronomy session, driven somewhere dark, set up equipment, cooled the scope for an hour, and then watched clouds roll in. So: every amateur astronomer alive.
“Because you can’t punch a cloud” is one of the most honest expressions of astronomical frustration ever put on a shirt. You can’t fight the cloud. You can’t bargain with it. You can document your frustration and wear it as a badge of honor.
The Uranus Shirt
Best for: Anyone with a functioning sense of humor.
Uranus is a real planet. It was discovered in 1781. It has 27 known moons. It rotates on its side, which is one of the most scientifically interesting things about it. It also has an unfortunate name, and astronomers have been pretending that’s not funny for 245 years. The shirt acknowledges the elephant in the room. No apologies.
How to Pick the Right Astronomy Shirt as a Gift
If they own a telescope: F-Ratio or F’n Weather. These land hardest with people who are in the hobby seriously. If they just love space: The Uranus shirt is universally accessible. If they’re a professional: F-Ratio — they will explain it to everyone in the break room and that’s the point.
All shirts are printed on soft blanks in the USA. Free U.S. shipping when you join the crew. Browse the full collection.